Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Should old acquaintance be forgot...

pitchfork? check.

torch? check.

angry mob? should be easy enough.

It is time to put the monster to its end, and just a quick look at the news and Internet-at-large shows that I am not alone in that sentiment. Luckily, no one is counting on me and my "readership" to organize this extermination. Nope, theres already quite a group gathering Thursday at midnight to put 2009 down for good.

Like any good villain, 2009's origins were innocent enough, with sights set on saving the world and creating hope. We started the year with a baby boy on the way, and I even had misguided hopes of renewing my relationship with my family. On a national level, we awaited our new President.

Sure, 2009's start was undermined by some layover baddies from 2008: for me, my parents being stubborn asses, and for everyone else there was, at the very least, that bailout plan W. put into effect as he was packing his bags. Still, it seemed 2009 might overcome the initial setbacks and come out looking like a hero. But somehow things just kept snowballing, and despite 2009 throwing some good luck around (for instance, my friend Stacey and her twins, the Walkers and their big-little guy) By spring, the nation had realized things were actually pretty bad, and us, well, we'd climbed aboard the roller coaster from hell... that somehow kept going and hitting us with even more twists and turns weeks and months after Joel died.

If you're here reading this, well you probably know the details of how shitty my year has been on a personal level (if not, go do some back-reading). You know it's been a rough year when your son dying isn't the only bad thing to happen (after having that happen, even having something qualify as being 'bad' is impressive). Sure, we've made plenty of lemonade, and we're happy for the friends, new and old, that've loaned us the sugar to mix our drinks, but it doesn't make taking a 90 mph lemon to the face any more enjoyable.

2009 was full of lemons.

unripe, high-speed, pain fruit.

Along with Joel, and the-fetus-formerly-known-as-Piccadilly (and possibly to be known as Blair Benjamin...nothing set in stone), 2009, despite the massive amount of suck, still had plenty of babies, both born and unborn. If there is of any one thing I did learn from 2009, it is that even a bean in mommy's tummy can bring a lot of brightness and joy. They interact with us and affect our lives; our little invisible friends. (still pro-choice though...color me contradictory)

So even if 2009 only leaves memories of a child, I suppose that is enough of a reason for me - the guy who can't stand the fact that I will have to look back at my life and consider 2009, 'the year of shit', a turning point in my life - to let 2009 go quietly. Drop the pitchforks, put out the torches...

Now if it'll just hurry up and fucking die already.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Two Years

So this is a bit late, but I've been busy enjoying my little man, and waiting for this fog in my head to clear out. ( I suppose I could give more reasons for not posting, but lets not get into minutia. )

TWO YEARS! I look at him and I can't even begin to believe that it has been two years, and at the same time it feels like it has been an absolute eternity. So much has happened in just this little spurt of time since Jules was born.

So much that I worry sometimes that we don't give him the attention he deserves because we are so caught up in everything else. Then I look around and realize how much we spoil him, and how much he smiles and laughs; our little, bright, center of the universe running and spinning and jumping and laughing all over the place.

Happy Birthday Booger, you make it all worthwhile.