Monday, November 23, 2009

Ooops, I forgot... *updated*

What seems like a long, long time ago, I gave you permission to get a snack as you read through what I suppose amounts to my manifesto.

The details of that post, and all the private conversations and exchanges it refers to, have been a great source of my pain, sadness and anger over the past few months (although obviously not the greatest). In the times that I cannot help myself but to think about my family, I have no regret for my actions or my words. Maybe somewhere along the line I could've tried a little harder, but I don't feel that it would have made a difference.

I am happy to report that I have had some positive contact with a few family members during these last few months. I truly appreciate those kind and understanding souls that have reached out with even the simplest of contact.

But a little birdie came along recently, a well-intentioned birdie looking to protect its nest, and it reminded me of some things.

In particular, it reminded me of slander, liable, and harrassment.

Now, the little birdie and I must agree to disagree, and I think in the birdie's references, the above-mentioned vocabulary means nothing.

BUT (and this will finally bring us full circle) in my little manifesto (see link at top, lazy) I made mention of a wonderful email I received from my email I thought I'd left a link to with the manifesto. Instead, I posted the link in a second less-noteworthy blog.

So for those of you in the here and now, and anyone concerned with the birdies vocabulary in regard to my Uncle, here is his "open letter" (which would mean it isn't private and can be shared) to me where he fully expresses his desire to be punched in the face.

Why even insert a jump... (click the pic if you want to see the full email)

I don't know if that falls into any of the little birdie's vocabulary, and I don't particularly care because I'm not the litigious type, but I think this covers that anything I said in my original comments about good ole Steve were fair and at best no more slanderous that Conan O'Brien's Kirstie Alley fat jokes.

And for the record, I never acted upon any of the items listed on that Facebook poll, not because I didn't want to, but because I realized that I could never say or do anything to Steve that would be any worse than what he has already spent 50 + years doing to himself.

As for the rest of my family: as I've said before, Steve's email, and my conversation with my sister, confirmed a lot of things. I know they have simply expressed what everyone else was thinking and saying behind our backs. If that weren't the case, the other members of my family would've stepped up and said otherwise. I've had only one person do that, and that person wasn't even involved in this maelstrom to begin with.

I hate that along with the greatest tragedy of my life, I also lost the family I grew up in, but I am sooooooo happy to be rid of their bullshit. So these instances where it pops up again, well, I hate to say that at least with this one, I'm thankful for it. It reminds my sentimental little candy-ass of why I pulled my family away from that twisted patriarchy. It reminds me of the odd behavior they trigger in me (behavior I always find myself realizing to be wrong, and apologizing for over and over and over and over again...I should really work on that. )

So look, I posted this to address the supposed legal implications of my response to my Uncle, but through the course of crafting this post, I've come (through various means, but monstly my own. [ no, really]) to this statement (because while implied, both internally and externally, I don't think its every been quite clear): As I feel that Steve speaks on behalf of my family, and I thank him for offering himself up as that lightning rod, my feelings for him are greatly the same as my feelings for other members of my family who are perfectly happy to let him do so.

More direct? okay, just for them:

I am just as disgusted with you as I am with him.

I hope you don't misconstrue anything as a desire to forgive or forget. Even those whom I may not consider to be responsible for certain things are still being held accountable for their own actions (or inactions).

You may cry for me and pray for me, and I kindly ask you to stop; save the tears and the desperate prayers for yourselves, you clearly need them.
Fix your family, don't try to fix mine.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to get ready for Vegas...


  1. Ummm, sounds like a nice mess. Not. Also, FWIW, in order for something to be slanderous or libelous there has to be actual HARM (the $ kind, more so than the reputation kind) so I kinda giggled that someone in your 'family' might be hinting at some sort of litigation b/c of what was written. And then again the perfect defense to a claim of libel/slander is, yep, you guessed it, the truth.
    If the mans an ass, as he most surely is, the fact that hurt to be called one isn't slander or libel, it' s just proof of the old adage, the truth hurts.
    Keep doing what you're doing, no one needs that b.s. in their life, ever.

  2. I'm glad you cut off the infected limb. Now come celebrate in Vegas :)

  3. You and Jess are right, the most important family is each other and your children. Praying for a safe pregnancy and delivery for your newest little one.